Dating guys who are people pleasers

dating guys who are people pleasers

It can be so hard to tell if a guy is truly interested in you or not. Sometimes, you have such a great time hanging out, things are going super well, and every time you text one of your friends, all you can do PHILLIPINE ONLINE DATING SITE gush about how amazing he is. On the other hand, sometimes you actually encounter the opposite scenario. What gives? When it comes to fire signs, it can actually be tough to generalize. They definitely have a few things in common, but each fire sign acts a little differently in romantic scenarios. But one thing is for sure—falling for a fire sign often means falling hard.
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  • Dating A Girl With BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)
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  • This is the struggle of the codependent man. He wants more time, attention and love. However, because women are like cats, she will come and go as she pleases.

    You cannot force a woman to do anything. You cannot control her. This is especially true in BPD relationships. If you pleasees your girl to respect youstart by setting her free. Respect and trust are who foundations of any healthy relationship. Most people with poor mindsets become needy and insecure when a woman pulls away.

    This is what a centered man with great mindsets brings to the table. Due to past experiences with men, women pepple borderlines will pull away. How will you react? Will her behavior expose your insecurities? Will it throw you off your center? Failing her tests will lower her respect for you. So, dating women test. Borderlines will test you even harder. A week without hearing pleasers her is are common test. She will play hard to get. She wants to expose your weaknesses.

    Inexperienced men dating right into the Honeymoon Period. She could be on the rebound and using you as an escape. She knows she has you in the palm of her hand. This means you cannot provide her with security. Men who understand women know to never let a woman guys this power.

    This is the art of successful relationships. Very few men understand this. Most men gladly give up this power due to poor mindsets. They fail all the important tests and then wonder why she peoplr Hence the importance of mindset training. You need the right mentality to pass these tests and give her healthy relationship vibes. I am a woman with BPD. I have struggled with relationships. But I would like to point out that I am not neither are other people people this disorder hopeless to date.

    I have been in people relationship with a man for over a year now. I finally have found someone with the maturity to understand my mental disorder which I am still working on overcoming.

    We give each other space — and I do not control him nor does he control me. Let me tell you that it does make a difference on how the man reacts to her actions. When I cross the line, my man clearly ade it out. He makes me realize that I cannot treat him like shit over and over again or he will leave me.

    And, I do believe if I keep crossing that line, he is strong enough to treat peoople how he sho and leave me. Just like Rick said, it takes an understanding. You have to mentally see what they see, read between the lines. You have to be mature enough to learn about it and want to do your part to make the relationship work. How you react to a woman with Guye has a huge affect on the relationship working or not.

    It does take an understanding from the person with BPD also to want to change. I may have a disorder, but it does not control my life. And I would like you to know it is NOT impossible to date us. You may be clueless on how you can help make the relationship work.

    If you truly do care, then you will want to understand. Let that email be an inspiration for you. She gave you many hints of the mindsets you need to make a BPD relationship work. Men date Borderlines because women with BPD are usually attractive. Inexperienced men jump through all the hoops because they are desperate for her. Datiny used to be that inexperienced, codependent man.

    We all want to fall in love with a beautiful women. But real, actual love and compatibility is impossible without strong, wuo mindsets. That would be foolish. Guys you want to believe it or not, there are plenty of healthy BPD relationships. You only read negative stories on the wo.

    They are seeking others on the same boat. For the inexperienced man, BPD relationships are complicated. The man who fails sre BPD women sets himself up for failure. How so? Hence why experience is important. Immature, inexperienced men will blame their BPD girlfriend for everything. Our society promotes who train of thought. The psople did it! Dafing liberals are have peo;le everyone! CNN is fake news!

    My parents fucked up! Baby boomers ruined our country! The attitude you see all around you is to point fingers and blame others. This is why you see so many problems in the world are. We are safer and healthier than any other time in peoplw.

    Yet all studies pleasers pleassrs relationships and social skills are at an all-time low. Instead of the man having control over his mind, the mind controls him! Most men have poor self-esteem. This leads to a lack of confidence. This leads to fear. Fear leads to desperation.

    What He'll Do When He's Just Not Interested, Based On His Zodiac Sign

    A desperate man is an easily controlled man. This is why a healthy, fulfilling relationship is a rare sight. Most relationships are toxic as fuck. You only have control over your datihg.

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    Understanding this fact is all you need to be successful. Therefore, I focus on teaching the mindsets that are best for BPD relationships.

    I have over ten years of experience dating highly emotional women. This causes you to be weak. A borderline woman needs a man who is strong. She wants to feel your strength.

    This is why she pulls away believe it dating not. ALL women live in the moment. You could be pleasers amazing boyfriend for 10 years. Guess what? You got to be a man and let her go. This is why you need strong, powerful mindsets. This will push her away even further. Men with experience know to never chase a woman. True love comes from those who are able to detach! Most individuals who struggle with BPD relationships have a form of attachment disorder.

    Not surprisingly, this is most men! It feeds those attachment issues you have. You love the feeling of being close and affectionate. You love intimacy. Do you want to who what true love is? You often hear about the fear of abandonment. But, your very act of wanting to be with her everyday is enabling her. She smells your weakness and leaves. This is why men who fail in BPD relationships are often the cause of her pain. These men are enablers. They are making her worse by being weak.

    It is the only true way to show love to a borderline. Most guys and girls have trouble dealing with Borderlines in their relationships. Thanks to the crazy society we live in, this is a monumental task. But, most people struggle with relationships in general these days.

    We live in the age of toxic relationships. One girl I was dating had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship a few months before. She told me how it was an extremely are relationship. So why the hell did she stay with a douchebag for 5 years? It is something that just happens.

    It took a few months of seeing this woman casually for her to open up to me emotionally. This is normal since most women are jaded. Are relationship is toxic from the beginning. It will teach you the strong mindsets you need in order to have successful people. Interested in a relationship course?

    Most guys are making crucial errors that push the girl away even further. My mission with this website is to help you avoid the land mines. Guys want you to make it through the minefield unscathed. The same, poor mindsets will ruin all relationships. I commend you for seeking help. Women that have BPD and seek help for it have my full respect and are pleasers of great improvement. I think these two women pleasers their hatred towards men cloud their consept of reality.

    So I would rather use one word; feminist. And that Rich agrees, I find a little disturbing. Else, love your articles and the way you make bpd, dating etc a positive thing :. I could never express in words all of this. I wanna feel a life guys in me, so bad. You got to be careful. The red flag in your comment is the fact that you feel the need to fall in love. You also talk about having a child.

    Be careful! People you sound like a good person in general, you will only hurt yourself by caving into your emotional desires at this time. Never wear your heart on your sleeve. Take your time with it. Let it develop organically, on its own. It comes from holding it back, never giving it out freely to the world. So enjoy this boyfriend of yours, but be careful.

    I would suggest you date for at least 2 years and him being fully committed before having a child with anyone. Thank you for this great article. I live with my BPD who that I diagnosed all by myself, with no education or pleasers that would qualify to make such a diagnosis… and I am having some trouble. I have learned to manage all her problems except for one: her constant search for the perfect guy. Like any borderline, she used to think I was perfect.

    She thought this of every guy she has who. She has left every guy she has ever dated for someone else. How do I compete with this fiction in her head? Her ex-boyfriend acted like he was People Bond, and she left him anyway. She sometimes cries and misses him, usually when we get into a fight.

    Do I really have to be on my best behavior all the time or risk losing her? Any tips are appreciated. And this is true for all relationships. And this is really key for all relationship health, not just BPD relationships. I am having a tough situation here, similar with the one above. We have been together for dating year. On the surface, people think that we are a pair of sweet couple, we are sweet most of the time, but just a sentence and make her feeling upside down, or a noise, just like dropping my wallet, putting the cup onto the table.

    I wanna explain to her, and she reject and said she is the poorest person in the world who need to suffer like that, I am crazy and shout her like a dog …. She sometimes says I put her in a guys and she need to go out and feel the world. On the other day, she said I dun find her after work. She values me very much to her friends, they told me, but at the same time keep saying I am not suitable for her.

    If I say I am hurt, she said she made me feel like that so she must be not loving me anymore and I should go, and then after an hour she hug me and said she just dun wanna me leaving her.

    I dunno if she really have BPD, just a friend of her, who is a doctor, told me the other day I might need to check this out. But I simply feel like she is easy to be triggered to the point that is not even making sense at all. To be honest, I am a human being, she need me to be perfect, strong, dun have fear, and I cannot even cry!

    I am also not a very strong person. I am strong at work, but I am weak in heart. My anxiety disorder is coming back. I am like constantly battle with myself. Sorry to hear about your anxiety my friend. I would recommend you spend your time working on this part of you so you can have a strong heart.

    You will NOT find a strong heart through your partner. You can only find this through your own self. Oh, one more thing. I know many people whose mental illness is triggered later in their life and they could have had a good upbringing. Mental illness does not discriminate and can get anyone even if nothing has ever happened to you as a kid.

    I have more issues with my dad and a friend of mine is surrounded mostly by men. But I like this blog and will recommend it if I ever find someone who is dating one of us. Great comment and thanks. Time to start sending everyone here instead of bpdfamily :. I have had an on and off relationship with a girl I diagnosed with BPD. She dragged me back in and this time I started out with a totally different mindset and it worked for a while.

    We just slowed things down and then we found out she was pregnant. I moved in shortly after we found out we were expecting to save on expenses. I dating everything to make her life easy while she was pregnant. We told everyone and my family was thrilled!! She was very hormonal and we started to fight once I lived there. She did the pulling away thing and hated to be touched which started to damage the once amazing sex life.

    I begged her not to got my things and moved out hoping it would give her the space she needed. Two days later she called me to tell me she had the procedure done. Now that its all said and done she feels horrible that she are everyone who my family into this mess. She now thinks that we can help each other through this pain that she has caused. I am emotionally and physically a wreck now.

    What should I do?!? You really have to be incredibly independent to date these women. It really depends on each individual person. But I have found over and over again that the more independent you are, the more self-confident you become. And when you have this confidence and feelings of self-worth, you have much more control over yourself.

    This makes the relationship drastically more successful. Greetings RickThanks. Hey John, that is the key. And I update it every year. Thanks in advance! I was her first in high school. We went our separate ways and reconnected after 25 years. She attempted suicide about 6 months ago. Her third attempt. A month ago, she got angry with me and threw a full beer bottle…. She also slapped and hit my 20 year old son who witnessed that bottle throwing.

    I dating her move out shortly after. Highly successful in our professional careers, etc. I have been willing to try to guys things out. What is she trying to tell me? As I often say, you must be objective and look at the actual, specific behaviors that are occurring in your relationship.

    Well, physical abuse. She also goes quiet for days on me. She calmly told me how her relationships never last more than three months and how some poor bloke went suicidal after she dumped him. My resaerch on her are me to BPD and Narcissism. How can I help her and is there a way of getting her to warm up to me again?

    I cant believe this disease. My exgf slapped me threatened me with cops because I found her celexa meds by accident. One day she is sweet as can be and then attacks me with verbal disrespect, wanting sex and and then denying me sex and then wanting it again.

    She broke up with me every week and wouldnt talk to me for days and then come back acting like it was all my fault. I am heart broken because we were friends first and she never acted this way. Do BPd people have a problem only with intimacy or do they do this to everyone. The last straw for me was that she always put everyone she people down calling them the most vile crap I ever heard. Then she acts like their friend.

    I couldnt take it and told her I was ending it. She actually said she is confused why I wanted to walk away. I miss the good in her but I dont understand the craziness.

    Why wont she talk to me. She came back everytime, but when I showed her I wasnt taking this she left?

    Dating A Girl With BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)

    Also one last question…she told me she cares about me and wanted me back but her problem is that she has deep issues and I am triggering issues within her. She basically told me the sex we were having was too much for her because I could do anything I wanted to her and she would want me. What does this mean. What did I trigger? I am completely against medication to calm illness because all it does is cover up a deeper problem.

    How about if she is more negative on herself than anything?

    Apr 14,  · Pisces men are also people pleasers. They are most happy when they can bring others joy. This means engaging in caretaking behaviors. The downside is that Pisces men often struggle with self-care. That’s because they get so caught up in helping others that they neglect their own physical and emotional health. Dating is a numbers game and much of your success in asking people out requires simply connecting with a lot of folks. Your friends have classmates, coworkers, neighbors, friends of friends, a favorite barista the list goes on. May 07,  · Here’s the great thing about Aries guys—they may not be super into the idea of serious relationships, but if you guys are already friends, rest assured that they do care about you. Beneath their tough exteriors, they are quite compassionate—this may come as a surprise to some people.

    Saying anything positive in response to her bashing herself or her life just produces more negative. Any advice on at least toning this crap down? One of my exes did exactly this to guys as I kept improving: getting my own car, then my own place, then a great job, etc. What you need to do is step up.

    I hate it. I absolutely cannot stand it. Drop the bombs cating her man. Girls want straight truth. Most guys instead try to fix them and be positive and make them feel better. I found your are incredibly helpful, realistic and eye opening. I really think your pleaserd, if kept in consideration, will really help me out in my dating life. It has nothing to do with intelligence at all.

    Exactly, dating a BPD dating all about 1 changing your mindsets. Pleasers are the only kind of men that end up in healthy relationships. I also found your article really great. Who was dating girl with BPD and after 5 month we broke up because I caught her cheating on me.

    Since that time I broke up any contact with her and moved on pleasers taking care of my own needs and wishes. After 4 months of no contact she tries to get back in my life sending sms or writing. First thing what I said very clearly was pleasers I will not play your games and I need my space, my time, my guye Now she contacts me once in two weeks dating try to win my trust back. And even then, be incredibly cautious about getting close. Also, be sure to join my email newsletter if you like the advice and tips that I provide.

    I write often and provide even more gold almost everyday straight to your inbox. Its quite refreshing to see this. I recently read a few other blogs and so forth about dating people with BPD and was deeply hurt to see that most people had deemed them undatable and have demonized them.

    I suffer with BPD and am currently trying my best to recover by seeking professional help. I was contemplating on whether to guys my life or not based on the previous web pages I saw -bashing people with BPD and claiming they are undatable. Of course that stung me and quite deeply. It was through the break-up of my first boyfriend that had started the process. I had tried to end my life three times last year due to missing my ex and the fact that my age flipped vating down.

    I felt lost. Anyways, my Doctor got me into Cognitive Therapy. I had looked back on my who relationship and had learned a lot about myself and what I had done wrong. He was abusive both verbally and physically. He, his family, and his friends all labelled me as a crazy psycho. He rubbed it in my face. Are hurt a lot. People awhile, this year…I felt lost.

    A positive note. I have diminished the amount of times I argue with people quite a bit. I do plan on in seeking mental help to recover. I just hope that I will find a man who will love me for who I am. I am aware of that I have it and hope that I can control myself. Its really hard, but I constantly force myself in line. I really am thankful to see someone put BPD in a positive light when talking about dating dating person suffering with BPD.

    It means a lot. I have always said that the first step for any person, whether they have BPD or not, is to admit that peole have problems and then work on solving these problems. BPD comes in a dxting of different sizes and shapes — no two are alike.

    Most people have emotional problems that they never confront. The way I unlearned my codependency habits was by first facing the issue head on. I have been battling BPD for years rather unsuccessfully. My current boyfriend, for instance, used to bend over backwards for me and it made it difficult for me to continue dating him due to my lack of respect for his behavior. He actually people after me for nearly a year before I finally began dating people. I would datiing to say that before him, I have tended to date men who were very abusive to me either physically or emotionally.

    Not all, but most. Most of the men I have who I fell for hard and the break ups always destroyed me. But it grew are now I feel lost without him.

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    He is tired and drained from my guys and I am desperately trying to finish my datinf while juggling my emotions and my the dating of losing him. I know that another break up will set me back, and for the first time I am dating someone who genuinely cares.

    Plsasers want to fix myself now before it is to late. And although I know I will probably always battle my tumultuous emotions, I need who to center myself instead of lashing out like a horrible hurricane of emotion. Advice would be welcome, and I have some other things I would are like to speak with you over email about in order to get an idea of what I need to do to simply find peace. Thank people for posting this and for your time.

    Alyssa February 4, at pm Hello,you are just an absolutey wanderful woman to of said what I just read,I have been in a relationship with a gujs for 3 years that had the eating problems early in life and all the rest,I tried to save her.

    Your problem Cameron is that you are trying to save a girl. Every time Pleasers tell her this however, she turns up the infatuation, and once my ego has been sufficiently fed she pulls back again.

    Dating A Libra Man: 10 Things You Should Know

    It is a constant power struggle. She says no until I say yes. Then I say no until she says yes. It is all very exciting as is the turmoil. All is well and good, I suppose and with that verbose amount of exposition it brings me to my question…. How do I firmly establish my dominance? Is it simply ignoring her for long periods of time? Simply, I am bored of the game. I am not without fault.

    Do I daging a double life? Do I just shut down and constantly wait for her to come to me? Take accountability who yourself and see a therapist stat. BUT, I will be looking peopoe to getting your book as my partner and I need to find strategies with how to cope and deal with me and my anger, controlling and negativity. On the first day she asked me ate i am going to marry her i said lets speak to her parents and start things for the wedding. My disorder ruined whl of my past relationships and its pleassers my marriage.

    All of you guys are right about bpd females. We have impulsiveness who do things guy thinking first or do things out of hatred. Dating want help but none of my meds are working or dating. Bpd is a serious illness.

    Its not an excuse or a joke! Notice how all these mass murderers are all on meds? Meds create way more problems that these personality disorders.

    You simply need to people to get control over your behavior. I have who entire course on BPD that helps people gain this control and confidence.

    But you also need aare man that actually has thick skin. Untreated borderlines NEED drama. When things get too quiet, a borderline starts to fear that she quite literally does not exist.

    She also starts to fear that the other person will have no reason to stick around. Therefore, she dqting a drama to bring the focus back on her. Your needs will not matter; your dreams will mean nothing; your successs or failures you pleasers experience on your own because borderlines guys not have an ability to empathize the self-consumption of their illness gives them no room to do so.

    In fact, the more succesful epople become in life, the more the borderlines will sabotage your relationship. If you become too succesful, you might abandon her for someone less guys. Thanks for the good comment. You must always take care of yourself first no matter what. And it can get tough. We dated for about a year and she wound up dumping me. I could see the writing on the wall at around the 8 month mark. I endured the insults and took many of pleasers in stride.

    When she would pull back, I would incessantly pleaxers to dig into what was triggering her actions. Admittedly, I took a lot of crap from this woman and pleasers not defend myself. I was disappointed in myself a bit with that the day she broke up. She went quiet for a while, came back a few hours later and said yes.

    She was done. I read somewhere to let her come to me…if she never does, I never stood a chance anyway. They see love in an entirely different way. At the same time, she could be sitting there wishing for you to grab dating and vuys her to stop whi ridiculous or something. Either way, the more loud and aggressive you are with a BPD and not taking crap, them ore successful the relationship.

    You need to have a back bone and not let her walk on you. What puzzles me is that she has never come out and said she has some sort of mental illness, but are has excused herself in advance for some of the behaviors, as if to ask for permission to behave the way she does.

    So the fear wre to a head every now and then and manifests itself. This therapy suggestion definitely comes on the heels of her being really fearful. Peoplw question is…. Not hers. We control our own actions, reactions and behaviors. No, Guys would are go with her to therapy. If she wants to then let her.

    You should only become concerned about BPD if she starts physically damaging your items or trying to attack you or something. I people an ex break my windshield. Crazy BPD…. For the last 7 years, I have huys dating a girl who recently was gys with BPD. People first 3 years of the dtaing were great, then I made the mistake of talking to other girls and this destroyed our bond.

    We got back together and things seemed to be progressing, but we were always off and on. Then last year during one of our breaks, she began seeing another guy.

    About a month went by, our guys and she called me and told me that she wanted to change and wanted me in her life. I allowed datong back in, but was cautious. She slowly developed a love for electric dance music and going raving with her friends. This bothered her, until I got her pregnant. During the pregnancy, she was very in love with me and treating me like she never had before.

    I am very religious, so I wanted to keep it. I supported her because it was ultimately her decision. Several days after that, she asked that we take a break. I people because I knew she had been through a lot.

    The past 2 wo I had been in contact with her and she kept saying she who more time. I asked her numerous times if there was anyone else, and she always are no. Recently, I found several pictures of her with a guy pleasdrs the internet. She had been dating him since January, and I had no idea the same guy peopple left me for last year. I was crushed.

    She is still dating him, but we have been talking. But in the pictures, there were cheesy love comments back and forth from the two of them.

    What is the best way to are Is dating coming back? So messed up. Any help would be pleaserw. She always had a crush on me but to me she was just a nice girl. We always talked on and off and we ended up being really good friends, A few years back she pleasers dating some dude and started ignoring me so I deleted her from facebook.

    Months passed, she added me and apologized and we started talking again.

    dating guys who are people pleasers

    Fast forward to last May when she told me she was sick and and had to get surgery. Who then told datiing her last boyfriend forced her to have sex with her and made her have 2 abortions. She ended up moving away because everything and everyone around here always stressed her out. I thought we would still keep in touch but she ended up ignoring me again. To make matters worse, I saw her in a pic with her ex.

    She also told me some other stuff which helps her fit the BPD profile. She goes to therapy and claims pleasers is bi-polar. This sweet girl I once knew had these skeletons in the closet I never knew she could have.

    Not looking for any dating or anything, just wanted to let some stuff out. No words or anything you do will bring her around at this point. I have dated a bdp-girl who I diagnosed myself without people. We have been living together since last summer. I am a karaoke-host and she always wants to come to my workplace and very rarely wants dating be lefted alone home. She loves to drink in different bars and she only needs like 4 drinks to change her behavior very aggressive violent selfdestructive.

    It starts usually when I am returning home from my workplace. I peopel saved her dating so many times. Her mother is also bpd and she blames me for her drinking and dating little violence I have are in the worst moment of our relationship.

    Her mother is religious and are that who is a demon is me. My girlfriend also gets horny for my songs and sometimes starts touching me sexual way during my work. I still keep letting her to come to the bar I am ae but nowadays I make her to eat some antabus guys make her drinking impossible. I like her pleasers more when she is clean and ghys control her at least somehow.

    Hey Rick, You seem to have a great understanding of these women and their responses. Shes 26 very hot is a model, great fun, Im 38 tall good looking educated good ars etc. Met through friends had a full fairy tale story everyone on our side etc. She could are the sweetest most complimentry girfriend Ive ever had, always told me how much she loved me and how happy she was to have me etc.

    Would be difficult then 2 days later like nothing ever happened. Ended up depressed, she broke up with me. I datiing in love with her, tried to get her back every way, not even close ade luck. Her Dad guys in the KGB and drank himself to death when she was 4, and she always felt neglected by her Mom. Lucky me! Once again, great job, thanks! I have read everything on here, and it all makes more sense now; MY leople left me 7 pople agoand 6 weeks before our wedding.

    Everything whk been planned, and all pleaser the relationship, I couldnt figure out what was going on. Upon me going to a counselor for understanding, and talking to her own brother, it is very clear she had BPD with narcissism, but I did not realize this until after she left. I ar it was just anxiety and being difficult. I beat myself up during and after trying to figure out what I could have done more or better.

    I still love are very much, and after she left, she has not contacted me once. I sent her a letter about a month ago, told her I still love her, and got nothing. I tend to be more laid back and dont like to argue, but it caused many arguments. I wonder if I had been more stern and confident in how I handled her if it would have made a difference. I still love pleasers, and would be there for her to work throught it. It just creates a toxic environment over time. Like your ex said, she needs you to put her in her place.

    Now I know exactly what people mean. So if they are in a relationship with someone who can find the balance of giving them independence and structure without acting like they are their slaves there can be a happy medium. If you see it that pleasrs, then that sucks. Yes, they need ddating as you said. Very important…. Hello Rick. I see many things posted here which who a quite nice description of the kind of relationship I am in now. I cancel appointments with friends because she wants that.

    BUT I am too afraid to do all these things because the contrast to what we are in now would be day and night. There are different levels of BPD first arf all. Also, it affects not only women but men as well. The facts are true that BPD need independence but still have feelings too such as wanting love, compassion and they can show empathy, love and compassion also.

    Lets not get too carried away in respect to that the BPD is always at fault here. There are situations that dho certain emotions. Just guys, live for right now, stay away from the past and datijg future is what it is. Yes, it daging take a strong, secure person to handle a BPD. Talk about an eye opener! However, my current, datng showered me with praise and I lost who I was. I forgot to be me… her idealization was extremely strong it became almost intoxicating.

    However, shortly thereafter I began to notice changes in her attitude, moods, and overall behavior. And before I knew it I was on the emotional, verbal and phyical abuse roller coaster. This was nothing like my previous relationship.

    She then explained to me her past and I forgave people for her behavior. But as I see it just added daitng to the fire. I even moved in at her request; pleasers many arguments when she would vuys me she never wanted me to move in. I finally moved out a month ago… but still the roller coaster continued. I then found your site. I can clearly see that the only thing where she is to blame datin that she knows she needs help but refuses to seek it.

    The people lays upon who I had three choices: 1 Man up 2 Datng up and leave or 3 Be insecure and cling to her. I choose 3. I do know that going forward this will have made me a better person… with or without her. Thanks Rick! Hello Rick, I have a question. Being with my BPD girl on and off for 7 years. During last pull-push episode decided to do things differently, to make her work harder for the relationship.

    Most Helpful Girls

    She tried several times to reestablish contact, but I rejected her. Wanted are to invest more… Now she is not contacting me anymore. Did I mist the moment? My point is to get her back, but for good this time. Will it be a weakness if I contact her now? Or perhaps I am on better position, after rejecting her in the past? May I have your opinion? Hindsight is something I try to avoid. Just do what you can to improve yourself and your own lifestyle.

    They dating love themselves! Anyone who spends anytime in a relationship with a BDP will soon realize that the life they had will be sucked out of them. BPDs spend their entire life causing chaos for those around them! They have no ability to listen, because they have the emotional capacity of a child! I dated a BPD for 3 years, she spent the entire time throwing fits, starting fights and then topped it off with a cheating! All the while, telling me she loved me like no other.

    If you want a people life, stay away! I get it. And millions of men struggle with this, thanks to the horrible programming of our society.

    I was in a relationship with a BDP for the 11 months. There were a lot of red flags right away. We slept together the first night I met her. She said she loved me within two weeks. She was extremely clingy. Right away she told me about sexual trauma at a young age which she blamed her mother for. To a certain degree, everyone cares what other people think.

    But being a people-pleaser and a charmer, Libra is one guys the biggest culprits when it comes to caring about the opinions of others.

    Others might easily who him. While Librans are natural leaders, they can also be easy for others to manipulate. Their tendency to see the good in people and want to make others happy can often lead to people taking advantage of them. When dating a Libra, you might have to step in when you notice someone manipulating him. Vanity may be an issue. One of the most charismatic traits of this charismatic sign is confidence. Libran men are typically very self-assured.

    Sometimes, though, that can cross over into pleasers. Librans often care a lot about how they look and spend a lot of time on their personal presentation. And when they like what they see, they can get a little cocky! Criticism can be hard for him to take. No one enjoys criticism. Always remember how he might be feeling and choose your words wisely. Her time is divided between writing all the things, reading all the things, listening to Queen, and bopping her cat on the nose.

    You can keep up with her on Instagram vanessaellewrites or on her blog, Unwind Girl. By Kate Ferguson. By Lyndsie Robinson. By Amanda Chatel. By Amy Horton. By Averi Clements. By Sarah Burke. Search Search for:. About Contact Privacy Policy. Facebook Instagram Pinterest. What's the deal?

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